Sometimes it’s difficult to know where to turn when grief and loss and sorrow come knocking at our door. Below are some resources which I have put together. I hope you find they bring you solace and understanding.
Podcasts
I offer you a series of podcasts. Liz Scott of Inner Compass, interviewed me about listening to people who are grieving, dying, or caring for someone who is dying. I offer them in the sincere hope they serve you well. Do please share the link with anyone you think might benefit from listening.
GRIEF
First up, I am talking about my own grief and some of the things which have been helpful.
Secondly, a podcast we called “You can’t fix it”.
Next up- “Myths and platitudes” – a brief look at the misunderstandings about the process of grief and how unhelpful some of our misconceptions can be for someone who is grieving.
DYING
Listening to someone who is dying– what is it important to bear in mind and how do you take care of yourself and be solid for another.
And finally – Listening to someone caring for a dying person
Guided Meditations
When the going gets tough, taking a few minutes to reconnect with an inner stillness can be minutes well spent. Please enjoy the two short meditations below.
Below is a guided meditation which lasts 14 minutes
Below is a short meditation lasting 7 minutes.
Books to accompany you
Memoir
- Grace and Grit – Ken Wilbur – honest account of accompanying his wife into her death through cancer
- Your Wild and Precious Self – Liz Jensen – the author’s grief at the loss of her son
- Caravan of No Despair – Mirabai Starr – memoir of her life including the death of her daughter
- Intimate Death – Marie de Hennezel – account of working in palliative care (mostly for AIDS sufferers) in a Paris hospital
- When Breath Becomes Air – Paul Kalanithi – account of his own dying
- Gifted by Grief – Jane Duncan Rogers – her journey through her husband’s death, her grief and re-emergence.
Death and Dying
- On Death and Dying – Elizabeth Kubla Ross – the classic
- Who Dies – Stephen Levine
- A Year to Live – Stepehn Levine
- A Celtic Book of Dying – Phylidda Anam-Aire
- With the End in Mind: how to live and die well – Kathryn Mannix
- Listen: how to find the words for tender conversations – Kathryn Mannix
Grief and Grieving – Plus see memoirs above.
- The Smell of Rain on Dust – Martin Prechtel
- Entering the Healing Ground – Francis Weller
- The Wild Edge of Sorrow – Francis Weller
Other
- Testimony of Light – Helen Greaves
- Journey of Souls – Michael Newton
The following people – I highly recommend-
- Mirabai Starr and the organisation she co-runs ‘Wild Heart’, and the ongoing grief workshops she runs, ‘Holy Lament’. www.wildheart.space
- Rosemerry Wahtoler Trommer – a poet whose son died from suicide. She sends a poem every day to your inbox, often dealing with the matter of grief. www.wordwoman.com
Poems
There are poems on the poetry page but some just need a space of their own.
This one has to be one of my all time favourite poems. It is by Nell Aurelia
I think it is this that we came for
I think it is this that we came for:
not the grief, it's the connection in our grief,
the sharing in the vast, aching cycles of changes;
not the loss, no:
the tender witness we can be in loss.
I think it is this that we came for:
not the sadness, not the confusion,
when the unthinkable happens and all is plunged into darkness,
it’s the reaching out and holding tight to each others’ hands
in that darkness, if and when it comes;
not the despair, the deep, sharp, bone scattering despair,
but the tenderness of mourning together,
of not turning aside, if and when it comes.
I think it is that we came for:
to be broken open and still find beauty;
to face death and still know love;
to rediscover our complete connection;
to experience fully grief and joy
and that nothing before or ahead can be lost
in these golden fields of spirit
that cradle us all.
I think it is this that we came for.
Nell Aurelia
Please do send me any poems which you have found particularly comforting. You can do that here